Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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