So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
