You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
