wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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