doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize