Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
