forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
