You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
