dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I love having hate sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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