Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
