uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
