Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
