Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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