Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize