I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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