why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dignity is for republicans.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
