im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
