just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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