pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
