he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
