Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
