I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
