You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
3 2 1 whiskey
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
