im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize