They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
