we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
