God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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