I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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