apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am one with the molecules
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
