I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
