separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
