can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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