he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
