Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
