He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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