Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's like iHOP with fire
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
