the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
