"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
