You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
