i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
