Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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