I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
