just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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