We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
