i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
