You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drake has all the answers
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
