Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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