Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
