Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
