Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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