She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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