last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
