That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So squirting runs in the family.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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