Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize