kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
40s are totally the cure
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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