and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
