Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
