Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
